Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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