friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
