; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
