just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize