I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
