Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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