Screwed.edu
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
