Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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