I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize