Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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