hotel room ftw
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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