Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize