how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
