Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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