Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize