why didn't you poke me back
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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