Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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