i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
