Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
