I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
