OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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