k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
