Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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