it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
