I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
