tell your sister to shave her snatch
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
