dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
