What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
