You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
