i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
