i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
it was like eating out sand paper
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
