I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
