my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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