i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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