Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
