The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
