We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
