Umm I'm too high to move.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
