just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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