Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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