its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
