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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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