it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
