So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
