508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
