you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
