Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Let's get the cat blown out
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
