Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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