dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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