Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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