Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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