My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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