Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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