put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
