Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Of course I have a pirate flag
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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