Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
