He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
