A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Operation Purity has been aborted
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
