apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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