I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
