I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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