This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
