You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
